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Product Description
IN WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY?, Susie Essman sheds the crasser layers to reveal how she went from an anxiety-ridden, struggling stand-up comic to being one of the funniest women on television, playing Susie Greene on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. Emerging as one of the most successful performers in her field, Essman goes behind the scenes of a life in comedy with her funny cohorts, including Joy Behar, Rodney Dangerfield, and, of course, Jeff Garlin and Larry David, while also providing sidesplittingly funny wisdom on a range of topics that she's highly unqualified to expound upon, including men, sports, hypochondria, and stepparenthood.

WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY ABOUT...

MARRIAGE?

"It took me a long time to find the man I was willing to commit myself to. Even the word commit is troublesome. One is committed to a mental institution."

MEN WITH DOGS?

"As a dog lover, I've researched many different breeds and I've begun to realize that you can tell a lot about a person by what breed of dog they choose to associate with. A bit self-conscious about your cellulite? A guy with a shar-pei is for you. They're hard to find, but cheaper than lipo."

THE BEAUTY OF MENOPAUSE?

"I guess I just have to accept the fact that I'm going to end up a bald, fat, sweaty, irritable woman with a dry vagina and a full beard who never sleeps and has memory loss so I won't even be able to remember how hot I used to look!"

STEPPARENTHOOD?

"My mother used to tell me 'you can't buy your kids' love.' Bullshit. You can, and it's exponential. They're like Russian mail-order brides -- the more you spend, the more they love you."

WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY? is Essman's irreverent, refreshingly candid, and hilarious retort to the dubious facts of life that we all face.

Found in Pittsfield: A terrific production of 'Lost in Yonkers' - Boston Globe

PITTSFIELD — If you’ve ever dismissed Neil Simon as not much more than a facile quipster — as I did myself in the rashness and folly of youth — you owe it to yourself to see Barrington Stage Company’s outstanding production of “Lost in Yonkers. Director Jenn Thompson and her first-rate cast mine Simon’s Pulitzer-winning play for every one of its diamond-hard truths about family as a shaping force: maddening, nourishing, destructive, loving, complicated, necessary. This is the first time in its 20-year history that Barrington Stage has produced a play by Simon. Explorations of Simon’s work by regional theaters are especially valuable now, when he appears to have fallen out of favor on Broadway, which he dominated for so long. (A 2009 Broadway revival of Simon’s “Brighton Beach Memoirs’’ was a flop, and a planned companion production of his “Broadway Bound’’ was canceled due to weak ticket sales. ) A theater highlight of three summers ago in the Berkshires was Jessica Stone’s topnotch production of “Last of the Red Hot Lovers’’ at Williamstown Theatre Festival, starring Brooks Ashmanskas and Susie Essman. “Lost in Yonkers’’ dives into deeper waters, and the Barrington Stage cast gives vivid form to a gallery that includes some of the most indelible characters Simon has ever created. With his adenoidal delivery and quizzical expressions, Matt Gumley excels as 15-year-old Jay, trying to make sense of the strange turn his young life has taken in 1942, when his father leaves him and his younger brother in the care of their... Seldom has Simon struck the balance so perfectly between comedy and close-to-the-bone drama, and seldom has the role of wit as a survival mechanism been so central to our understanding of his characters, especially the two boys. Only rarely in “Lost in Yonkers’’ do the trademark Simon one-liners seem forced or contrived. Thompson’s staging is artful throughout, especially in the way she maintains spatial relationships between characters that emphasize the emotional distance and communication problems that bedevil the Kurnitz family. Source: www.bostonglobe.com

Latest News

  • Found in Pittsfield: A terrific production of 'Lost in Yonkers'

    07/20/15 ,via Boston Globe

    A theater highlight of three summers ago in the Berkshires was Jessica Stone's topnotch production of “Last of the Red Hot Lovers'' at Williamstown Theatre Festival, starring Brooks Ashmanskas and Susie Essman. “Lost in Yonkers'' dives into deeper

  • 12 Rules for Living Your Life According to Susie Essman

    02/06/15 ,via Esquire (blog)

    Susie Essman earned her living by cursing at Larry David for eight seasons on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Tonight she guest-stars on Comedy Central's Broad City as Ilana's sex-positive mom who negotiates for knockoff bags in fluent Chinese. We recently

Twitter

#JohnTravolta Bolt #DVD John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, Susie Essman, Mark Walton, Malcolm McDowel http://t.co/AcHxiL4KnV #American #Actor 07/29/15, @Mahalia_Mair
#JohnTravolta Bolt #DVD John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, Susie Essman, Mark Walton, Malcolm McDowel http://t.co/LF5MPInWCK #Entertainment #Buzz 07/29/15, @Mahalia_Mair
oh my God, Susie Essman is so funny on Curb Your Enthusiasm. 07/28/15, @FlimFlamXD

Recipes

  • Marinated Beef Kabobs

    beef, rice, cornstarch, dijon mustard, garlic, green onion, honey, mushroom, orange, orange juice, black pepper, teriyaki sauce, water

Books

  • What Would Susie Say?

    Simon and Schuster. 2009. ISBN: 9781439150177,1439150176. 256 pages.

    A stand-up comedian offers a humorous collection of essays empowered by the brazen character she plays on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, in book where she attacks such topics as men, dogs, psychotherapy and what to do when your date admits his inner child is Dame Judy Dench.

Bing news feed

  • Why I Love 'Wet Hot American Summer,' Lame Jokes And All

    07/28/15 ,via The Jewish Daily Forward

    Why don’t Jewish men hire Jewish actresses? I mean, seriously, where were Sarah Silverman and Susie Essman when they were filming this? Seriously! This valid observation about the film’s sorry dearth of Jewesses aside, Oppenheimer completely misses the ...

  • Found in Pittsfield: A terrific production of ‘Lost in Yonkers’

    07/21/15 ,via The Boston Globe

    A theater highlight of three summers ago in the Berkshires was Jessica Stone’s topnotch production of “Last of the Red Hot Lovers’’ at Williamstown Theatre Festival, starring Brooks Ashmanskas and Susie Essman. “Lost in Yonkers’’ dives into ...

  • Abbi Jacobson on Doodling, Movie Plans, and That Pegging Episode

    06/24/15 ,via ELLE

    As Jacobson and the evening's moderator-wingwoman Susie Essman (who plays Glazer's mom on the series) took their seats in oversized leather armchairs, the entire collective of freaks, geeks, and Bevers fans erupted into cheers. More From ELLE Jacobson ...

Directory

Susie Essman - Official Site

Official site of actress, comedian, writer Susie Essman currently appearing on Season 7 of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Susie has a new book, What Would Susie Say?

Susie Essman - IMDb

Susie Essman, Actress: Bolt. Susie Essman was born on May 31, 1955 in Mt. Vernon, New York, USA as Susan Essman. She is an actress and writer, known for Bolt (2008 ...

Susie Essman - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Susan "Susie" Essman (born May 31, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actress, writer and television producer, best known for her role as Susie Greene on Curb ...

Susie Essman :: Bio and Filmography

Susie Essman has played the sassy Susie Greene for all seven seasons of the critically-acclaimed HBO comedy series, Curb Your Enthusiasm, currently in its seventh season.

Susie Essman Actress Susie Essman attends the Greater Talent Network ...

Susie Essman Actress Susie Essman attends the Greater Talent Network ...

Susie Essman Actress Susie Essman attends the 2011 Riverkeeper ...

Susie Essman Actress Susie Essman attends the 2011 Riverkeeper ...

Susie Essman - The Adventure Time Wiki. Mathematical!

Susie Essman - The Adventure Time Wiki. Mathematical!

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